The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of
Now Playing: Fleet Foxes – Quiet Houses (Continued from last time - The family has arrived home with the new addition.) Me: Be careful! SUPPORT THE NECK! IT'S DELICATE! Brother: First of all, it's an iPod, not a baby, and second of all, THERE IS NO NECK YOU DEMENTED CREATURE. Me: Don't listen to your uncle, my sweet baby, there's a dear. (aside) Don't hurt its feelings! It can't help being neck-challenged!!! Brother: … Me: Now that you're home, we have to get you all charged up, don't we? YES WE DO! OH YES WE DO! Brother: Oh sweet Jesus Christ, she's baby-talking the iPod. Parents: We find it's best to keep quiet and hope that she doesn't do this in public. Much. Brother (is aghast) Me: Is it time for baby's first feeding? Brother (is even more creeped out): By that horrible metaphor, I take it you mean to upload your music now? Me: (covers iPod's headphone port) Do you mind? Baby doesn't know it's not… Brother: ALIVE? SENTIENT? Me: I was going to say organic, but those things too. Brother: Heaven help us all when you really do spawn. Parents (see their hopes of grandchildren evaporating) (fast forward to a few weeks later) iPod: feeeeeeeeeeeed meeeeeeeee…. Me: But! I have no more CDs left! I even ripped my Teach Yourself German CDs to feed your unending hunger AND THAT WAS TWO HOURS AGO YOU FIEND. iPod: Denkst du, das genug war??? Me: Um… Ja? iPod: NIE! Me (contemplates iPod-icide) iPod: There's always the cheap CD bin at Carrefour. Me: What? And soil myself with Best of the 90s: The Hits You Love Performed By Underpaid Soundalikes? iPod: Du hast KEINE WAHL. Me: Oh, Woe. [German bits: Did you think that was enough? Um… yeah? NEVER! You have NO CHOICE.]
4 comments:
Not to nitpick, but I thought Nie was Polish, and Nicht was German? Does your iPod want to resurrect the Fatherland and create the fourth Reich now? :-)
~ramsu
Hehehehehehe. Ah, poor Joshua.. how is uncle faring now?
Also.. free podcasts! Subscribe! Learn Japanese!
Sayonara!
@ Ramsu - Not sure abt Polish (ridiculously complicated language, am envious of your l33t language skills at mastering it!) but in German, nicht means not, while nie means never. As for my ipod, it is nominally atleast malayalee, and so it will be resurrecting the Matrubhoomi once it crushes the Unions. ;-)
@ Hem - Poor Joshua??? Dad's good, though he hates my music (and by extension, the iPod). Srsly tho, have too too too much stuff on my ipod, considering i only listen to may be 1/4 of what I have on my regular basis. If only I didn't have weird hoarding tendencies!!!
(note to self, do not reply to comments when sleep-deprived,
incoherence ensues...)
So that's how the mp3 player dilemma ended!
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